


The Unkind Thoughts

by bri_ness



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Protective Even, little angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-27 03:06:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10800402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bri_ness/pseuds/bri_ness
Summary: "Every time Isak worries about Even, Even worries about Isak."





	The Unkind Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Written in response to a prompt for protective Even. Cross-posted on my tumblr: brionbroadway. Enjoy! :)

Every time Isak worries about Even, Even worries about Isak.

Even always knows. Isak will ask too many questions: how’d you sleep, when’s the last time you ate, is there anything you want to talk about? He won’t leave Even alone, walking him to classes across campus from his own, sitting beside him as he draws, offering to help cook dinner despite a lack of both talent and desire. He’ll kiss Even less and hold him more.

And Isak won’t complain, won’t ask for anything, won’t dare voice that he’s not always ok, either. But Even knows, he sees the stress in his body, feels it every night Isak’s too awake beside him. That is not a boy who ever stops thinking, and thoughts aren’t always kind.

Right now, Isak’s leg won’t stop bouncing. With each rise and fall, Even imagines another thought, ones Even’s too familiar with: _I’m not good enough. This is my fault. Everyone hates me._

Even’s about to rest his hand on Isak’s thigh, to calm his body and his brain as best he can, but he’s a second too late. His leg crashes into the table, shaking the cutlery.

“Sorry,” Isak says, fumbling as he puts everything back in place. “I’m sorry.”

Even was supposed to meet Isak’s parents tonight. His dad was going to bring his mom, but according to his text, that was “too stressful.” So his dad bailed too, all of five minutes ago. Like a piece of shit.

“For what?” Even asks. There’s enough food for four between them, maybe five.

“I made this into a thing, and I shouldn’t have. Things still aren’t great with my parents—I mean, they’re not bad, but yeah. I knew my dad wasn’t going to do this for me.” Before Even can speak, Isak continues, “And I got you stressed about tonight for nothing, so I’m sorry.”

Thing is, Even was not stressed about meeting Isak’s parents. He was stressed about how stressed about how stressed Isak was, and now he’s something else. Disappointed, hurt, fucking livid on Isak’s behalf. He wants to call Isak’s dad and say: _man the fuck up and be here for Isak. Oh, and my name’s Even; I’m dating your son._

But, he knows that’s not what Isak needs. Isak needs him.

Isak stands up and gathers the still-clean dishes. “We should just go to McDonald’s or something and forget all this.”

Isak coughs to cover the crack in his voice that’s giving him away. No matter what he and Even do tonight, Isak’s not going to _forget all this. All this_ is his life.

Even stands up too, but grabs Isak’s shirt to stop him. He takes the dishes out of Isak’s hands and puts them back on the table. “Hey, come sit with me for a second.”

Concern flashes across Isak’s eyes. “Are you ok?”

“Not until you are. Come on.”

Even leads them to the futon, where he pulls Isak onto his lap. He wraps his arms around Isak’s chest to keep him steady. “Talk to me,” Even whispers, then kisses Isak’s cheek. “That’s why I’m here.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal. I’m fine.”

“Right. You seem great.” Isak rolls his eyes, but settles into Even’s chest a little more. “Just tell me how you’re feeling. Honestly.”

“I don’t really know how to do that. Honestly.”

Even gets that. It’s not his strong suit, either. But they’re lucky enough to have each other, to love each other. It would be such a waste if they can’t help each other.

“Are you disappointed?” Even asks.

“I shouldn’t be.”

“There’s no right way to feel.”

“You sound like the guidance counselor.”

“Actually Isak, I sound like you when you talk to me.”

Isak smiles, caught. “Ok, maybe I’m kind of disappointed. I was nervous about tonight, but I was excited too.”

“Me too.”

“That’s not exactly it, though. I want to be mad? But I know I don’t have any right to be."

“Why do you think that?”

“I abandoned my dad, so I can’t exactly be mad at him for abandoning me.”

This is why Isak needs Even as much as he needs Isak. Everyone needs someone to help them sort through their thoughts, to tell the unkind ones to fuck off.

“He’s your dad. It’s literally his job to be there for you. You can be mad.”

Isak tilts his head so he’s looking directly at Even. Even brushes his thumb against Isak’s cheek. “When shit like this happens, I remember how things were last year and I just…I don’t know.”

“Keep talking. You were doing so good.”

“I felt really fucking alone. And I don’t want to go back to that.”

Even holds him a little tighter, and Isak lets him. “You won’t. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t unload all this on you, because I know you’re here for me and—”

“Isak, I didn’t say that as a guilt-trip. I said that because I meant it.”

“Oh. Sor—”

“Don’t you dare.” Even kisses Isak’s forehead. “I’m pretty good at helping, right?”

“You’re all right.”

“You need to tell me when you’re not ok.”

“On one condition?”

“Anything.”

“You need to tell me when you’re not ok, too.”

Even cups Isak’s face with his hands and kisses him, slow and sweet.

“Deal.”


End file.
